Mama's having a time out

It’s one thing to coach about self-care, it’s another to actually do it. This story is about me putting into practice the self-care from my last blog – but not in the way you may expect. I may have gone a bit large!

When I talk to people about how they’re doing as a matter of general conversation, I am repeatedly met with anguish, frustration and other feelings non-PG. The repeated commentary is how this year feels tougher than the last and people seem to (metaphorically) keep getting kicked whilst they’re down. It’s unrelenting. And people are tired. Really tired.

With what I call the ‘Brisbane Flu’ and Covid sweeping our city over the last couple of months, our resilience, grit, physical and mental energy reserves (that were already low) keep being tested. Again and again. Myself included. And this doesn’t usually happen until after the Ekka show – when Brisbane usually falls in a heap of colds and flu.

I write this – not because I have a fix for you – but as a reminder to look after yourself. Of all times, when we’re required to ‘just keep swimming….’ like Dory did (in Finding Nemo), We need to be awesome at looking after ourselves on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Even small things count. Because no-one can do self-care for you.

I am pretty good at taking time to reboot – me more than my husband I think, but in my defence – I think practice makes perfect!

But this little blog is about me taking my self-care to the next level. And it also took me to the other side of the world.

Yup! I went to the UK.

On my own.

For two weeks.

Hurray!

Let me guide you through how I got to this point – a bit of Sam logic ...

Me before children

Was a time when it was pretty easy to put myself first and do whatever I wanted with limited means. My husband and I lived overseas for a long time, earned money and spent it travelling, hung out with fab friends and had quality adventures. It was freedom.

Me since children

I’ve been a mum/CEO – Chief of Everything Officer – of this family now for over a decade and I’ve got to say I’m a little weary. My weeks are full of kids and domestic duties, work, putting everyone before myself, and repeat – and don’t get me wrong, I love my family life – but like many other parents, I am physically, mentally and emotionally out of gas.

So given I’ve been working on achieving better balance over the last few years, it seemed like now was a good time to stop. In a big way, and beyond my daily and weekly routine. And those that know me, know this isn’t the first time I’ve done this either...

So. I gave myself a time out.

I took two weeks off, on my own, leaving my house, husband, kids and cats to their own devices... I chose me. Yup, I went to the UK for some quality time with some very special people and to surprise my beautiful friend for her 50th birthday. And what an adventure it was. What mum even does this?

Whilst developing my draft itinerary, which I crafted with military precision, I was met with mixed responses. These ranged from stunned silence to ‘how can you leave you family and go on holiday ON YOUR OWN???’ which sometimes insinuated selfishness. What perhaps saddened me, is that some were shocked I did this at all. But if a man did it, well …. that’s another wine soaked blog entirely.

As I age, I care less what people think and I don’t need approval, which is something I’ve been working on for many years given my people pleasing history and wanting to help everyone .....

But back to my trip. My key ingredients to make it happen were desire, frequent flyer miles, a supportive husband, and fabulous village. I should perhaps add here that to help me, help husband, help me, I designed a fool proof plan for him and kids to survive in my absence. And given he is an engineer – it was all in a spreadsheet.

And as per my advice from my last blog, I couldn’t have done this without my village and I leaned on them to help me, help my husband, help me, with caring for our kids during their school holidays whilst I was away.

This trip was so great. It wasn’t full of sightseeing, it was purely quality time with quality friends, walking,

talking, eating, enjoying tiffin …. That’s all I wanted and that’s all I did. Ok, so I may have spent two days in London shopping … well it would be rude not too. And yes needless to say, my family survived without me. They were fine. And I was a better human for it also.

Which clearly proves I should really do it again ... 😉

So whilst I don’t suggest you disappear overseas, I do hope my trip has inspired you, even just a little, to take stock on how you look after yourself – if you do at all. Or do you just keep plodding on? Happy snaps (couple of people missing because

we were talking to much to take selfies!)

Each day - what do you do for yourself to be the best healthy version of yourself? And when I say healthy, I separate mental, physical and emotion well-being. Perhaps ask yourself some of these questions ...

How do you give yourself mental space? Do you step away from your desk or the kids and just stop?

How much do you move? You don’t have to train every day to be fit, I just say keep moving, stay active. Walk somewhere if you can instead of drive.

How do you look after your emotions? Your heart? Are you too hard on yourself? Do you expect too much of yourself and/or others? How’s that working out for you?

If we don’t take stock and really look after ourselves, how are we supposed to continue on this long path of uncertainty, constantly adapting in the world if we’re not looking after ourselves at home.

Pick one thing you’re going to do differently today, for yourself, like I did and get going.